You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
from now on my penis is your penis
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
