Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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