She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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