wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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