God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
