I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
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