when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize