hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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