This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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