yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I believe in your delicious
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
