dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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