One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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