Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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