Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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