Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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