fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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