I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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