"it" just moved
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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