I think I died a long time ago.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
