No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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