i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
