you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
