Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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