Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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