just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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