Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
