Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
