Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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