just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
This couple is walking their pig around campus
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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