i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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