the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Houston, we have a blender
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
40s are totally the cure
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
how does that bad decision feel?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
