don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
