I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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