Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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