Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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