A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
