He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
