is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize