Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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