i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
