I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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