does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
