Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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