My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
