shes about as inviting as chlamydia
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
