Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
