she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
