Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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