Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
