The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
