I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
