I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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