Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
