Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
