remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
