omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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