Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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