please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
