Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
