nut hugger
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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