we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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