Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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