Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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